wait for my man

Since summer started i have been really thinking about my sexuality and where i am going with it. i see people every where with boyfriends and girlfriends all having fun. i also see people hoking up and partying and having fun. So i guess i was wondering where i stand. so i go with a life of fun, sex, and lovers? or do i stay with the same wait till your married. i was relly about ready to cave in on my birthday when something happened. Everyone was bussy, this is very weird cause usally evey1 is ready to party it up at anytime, but it seemed like God really didnt want me to head down that path....... S
so today in work all the guys are getting excited casue im and almost 17and1/2 and almost ready for picking, all the guys are wondering whos going to get the virgin? im a lil excited but i also know that this isnt me. Then out of no where Ryan walks in. See Ryan is a great guy and really respects women. he has a collage degree and just got a great job, hes good looking and very old fashion. He is like the Isaac of Greeley, and he just became my friend. He works at the resturant just on weekends to pay off his car then is going to be focused on his life. Anywho he came in today and gave me the greatest hug ever!!!!!!! at that moment i knew what i wanted. I want to wait!!!!!!!! because there are guys out there like Isaac P. and Ryan. guys who do respect women and love God. Good guys like that give girls hope and inspire me to wait for my own good guy out there somewhere!!!!!!! so thank you God, and good guys stay good it means so much to women and so much to me!!!!!!!

17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow im 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy how life works. So today i spent my day getting ready for dinner at PF Changs were i was wayyyyyy over dressed!!! Ate there with my new friend Jenna, drove around and stopped at work and went tanning So here i am updating my blog and thinking about the evil attraction........boys!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont understand am i just not pretty enough!!!! why arnt guys my age attracted to me!?!?!?!?!?! I can get an older rich dude in a heart beat but i cant get a young active guy!!!! really do i look that old? liek the other day i was working at the stampede kick off and i got an older wealthier mans number by the end off the night!!!! but no i couldnt get any of the other waiters numbers!!!!!!!! maybe its because i wont put out!?!?!?!?!?! Then it makes me wonder!!!!!!! here i am 17 and never done anything with a guy! boyfriendless, lonely and daydreaming of the one.... and really what are the chances of marrying a guy like me!!!!! sometimes i think im waiting for nothing!!!!!! well thatnk God for Roy Orbison!!!!!

Cow town it is

After much prayer and thought i have decided to stay in Greeley. I really want to move to Summit but i really feel that God wants me here. I also feel that here in Greeley i am growing in many ways that i needed to and in summit i will take steps back. I do hope that one day God will let me go back to Summit to live, after all it is the best place in the world!!!!! But hey who knows maybe i'll really be able to help here!!!!!!

I was also wondering for everyone out there if you could please pray for me. I really need to be stronger in Christ before i can help anyone else!!!

The best tip!

So the other night i was at work waiting a few tables and hangin out. A young man and his father were having lunch and enjoying the day. When they left they left two bucks and a little card. On this card was a little messagge... "A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel" then there was a verse.... "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will fund grace to help us when we need it... Heb.4:16" i wonder what it means. Anywho thank you!

Stare

Here you are looking at me
Expecting more
But getting less

There is no more
This is me
And this is all i am

The look in your eye
the tone of your voice
Tells me that im not good enough

Theres nothing wrong with me
SO STOP looking at me like that
Except me or reject me

You do neither just stare
Stare in silence
Stare into the noting that I am

Stare

Here you are looking at me
Expecting more
But getting less

There is no more
This is me
And this is all i am

The look in your eye
the tone of your voice
Tells me that im not good enough

Theres nothing wrong with me
SO STOP looking at me like that
Except me or reject me

You do neither just stare
Stare in silence
Stare into the noting that I am

Not sure if i said this before

Yesterday i learned that a lady that i worked with tried to commit susicde last year. This reminded me that in Weld County alone, on average, Five people will commit susice every month. This doesnt include the ones who try but fail. Ummmm i wonder how i can help these people?

Stay...or....go??????

Ummmmm stay or go..... Well my Dad has just bought a house in Dillion and he really wants me to move up there. For a long time i really wanted to go back but now im not so sure. I have finally found peace here and i think i could really help people. But what do i do? I guess im really lost and i really need another sighn from God for me and my Dad.