A story

My day gone bad

2007-04-23T15:59:00.000-08:00

Well today is Monday, and i was looking back on the weekend and saw something different.

Well Friday afternoon i enjoyed the sun and read a book.
then i went inside and mad myself a fruit salad, and did some homework

Saturday i did some gardening and cleaned the sunroom and did some wash
later i went the the resturant and helped prep. Came back and too a shower then went to work.

Sunday was very nice i made a skirt and did some homework. Took a walk to the plaza.....STOP
...

This is where my day went bad...

So my aunt and i are walking when a truck full of guys drives by...errrrrrrr. so they start honking and whistling and making some very rude comments at me!!!!

How rude.. you whistle at a dog! not at a young woman or any woman for that matter.

they were pigs!! undressing me with thier eyes and shouting and errr being gross. Why is it that men dont know how to talk to people or give a complament to a lady? What pigs. i whish i was stronger to say something but i just walked away. No one should be whistled at and called on like a dog. errr

A beautiful weekend gone bad by some pigs with a car. I say there is no respect for one another any longer!

Well what are you going to do?

The new girl

2007-01-18T15:54:00.000-09:00

Well I'm here. Taos New Mexico.
Everything here is slower but that's ok, I needed to slow down. Its a little weird being the new girl again. No one knows me, but that's ok.
I have to say I am a little lonely here, well way lonely but I hope that will change. I know that God wanted me to step into the unknown but I can barley see infront of me here. Well we will see what's happens
Genesis

the Hero

2007-01-10T18:06:00.000-09:00

Well i fell like a fallen hero. I tried to do something right but i failed. Funny how that happens. I tried to stand up for a friend while bein fair but it came back and hit me in the face. Never again.

Last Day

2006-12-30T09:12:00.000-09:00

Today is my last day at work. Its a bittersweet moment, I'm happy to be moving but sad about leaving the good times behind. I really love the team I work with and have learned a ton. I just hope that one day i can repay them for all the knwledge they have given me. Well we'll see what happens.

Bigger

2006-12-28T10:55:00.000-09:00

At the young age of 17 i feel like so much more. Im going to be great in this world some way or another. I dont know how bu i know i will . I can fell it inside me and times it screams. Trying to get out and concor the world. but i hold i and control it. I have so much potential i just wish i had a great mentor to help me find my way. I can do i will. I feel it inside of me just burnning and fighting, the will to be more than you, to be the greates there ever was and ever will be. Just sitting here i feel it. I feel the burn the drive to do amazing great things. The Fire!

Just a small note

2006-12-28T09:33:00.000-09:00

When feel all alone and your unsure of whats going on rember it will be ok.
We sit here and get scared of small stupid thing when we should be thankful.
Life here is so much better then most places. We have great lifes, our founding fathers have worked so hard to build this great life for us. Givethanks to gGod to have such a great life.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T14:43:00.000-09:00

Merry Christmas!
Well today has been a very interesting day. I slept till 8:30, open presents, then watched a movie. I love Christmas, its my favorite holiday but this year I didn't really get in to it. I don't really know why. Maybe all the faking around it? Well anyway Merry Christmas.

06 snow

2006-12-23T06:24:00.000-09:00

So if you havent heard there was a blizzar the other day here in Cow town. It was amazing people were freaking out, schools closed, and i got off work early. It was amazing!!!! So i sat on my butt for a few day and played good citizen and pulled people out. SO i guess it was a good! The best part is my Christmas present! I'm going to a Bronco game!!!! yea!!!! Christmas Eve!!!!GOOOOOO Denver!

1 2 & 3

2006-12-16T07:33:00.000-09:00

Not that i really care to much but there has been a few thing on my mind.

1. New Mexico-
So im leaving here really soon and im doing this to get away! So why does my dad feel the need to take control. Yes hes my dad, and i have a lot of respect for him. He has a lot of wisodom and knowledge and i listen to him. But he really needs to let me go. I dont want to go to a private school when i have to pay for it. i would rahter save that money for collage. Really he need to take a step back and get his wife out of the picture. Im done with her! What really sucks about the whole thing is that my aunt and my dad have been going behind me and making all these plans without me. Really it my life, im not asking him for any money he need to let me do this on my own!

2. Boys vs. Men-
Ok so I can honestly say that this year i have really bloomed into my body and yea i got it. Im way more confident and feel much better. But i wish that i would get asked out by a guy under 25 please. All i want for Christmas is a boy to ask me out! I dont want to find a high end man yet i wan to have fun first! Come on im i want to go and be stupid and get in trouble. Not go to dinner then back to his place. Really i want to live a little!

3.Bitches
Ok so this has been on my mind way. The other day i was out getting my last paycheck at the sizzler and there was a little waitress. Since i was with Brenda we stoped and said hi to everyone. Well this little bitch was so rude to me. I couldnt figre out why? Im nice, im a nice person upfront and she was awfull. Im way nice, good looking, and had a great outfit on. The cow was a bitch. I cant stand ugly people who are mean to me. I know this sounds way snotty but im done trying to hide the truth. This is the way it is every sonce i was little i could never understnad why girls would back stap me. 1st grade McCalla. 3rd grade Angela and Kelsey. 5th grade Shana 8thiss Tessa. All around rudness from girls
For years i tried ignoring the truth, hoping that i wasnt true, and i blamed myself for thier bitchyness. No more im tired of taking shit for other girls. They are jelous bitches! Whats worse is that they were all really ugly or fat, or both. The pretty girls at least have the guts to come and tell me they dont like me. But no these bitches alwasy go and stab me in the back. No more i wont take it any more. Im tired of being quite when biches are rude to me. NO, no longer will i put up with this crap.

So theres the updateim still moving, i want a Boy for Christmas, and No to bitches. I guess its my new year goal!

So Long

2006-12-12T12:08:00.000-09:00

So long greeley i am leaving to Toas New mexico! I will be l;eaving in the first week of January!!! Yes im moving out and going out on my own. Im ready to fly!!!! OOO im so happy and scared. I feel like if i dont get out now i'll never do it! SO yeah im a young girl leaving with about $400.00 and im going to make it!!!!! TTYL Colorado i'll be back for Easter!!!!

Wow is the Word

2006-11-05T16:22:00.000-09:00

Wow well after a very long time of blogging i decided to start again and take time to look back on my life. Its really crazy how much has happened and how much has stayed the same! wow is the word!
There are times I cry because i miss the old days. but then there are times that im happy there is change! Wow!!!!!
I am sooooooo lucky to have known such great people in my life! And i think i can say that i love them all so much!

Love!!! WOW is the word!! I feel like i was born in the wrong time! I feel like the man i love is so close yet so far! So close that i can almost grab it but so far that it will never be mine! Can a person love more then just one? how many forms of love are out there? What is the limit of love? I want to share it. I want to give it.

I look back and laugh. Wow what a stupid girl i can be! Crazy, sad, stupid, funny, mean.... wow what a tale. When i read my blogs i laugh because of all the funny thing i said or didnt say! wow is the word.

Life what do we live for i wonder! i think we live for the next generation. Just imagine if there were no more kids left or to be made. i think we would all give up and die. I know a couple who dont want to ever have kids. Why? wow! what would they have to live for? Thier name and life dies with them! wow how sad. I feel sorry for them! wow

wow i misssssssssssssssss blogging!

Bitch and Butch

2006-08-23T19:54:00.000-08:00

Ok so I have decided to stop going after Bryan!!! Its not that I don't like him its a small equation! He's a bitch and I need a Butch! See I need a guy who will take charge and step up to the plate. I need a leader, someone strong, and not afraid... I need a BUTCH! See Bryan is a bitch, he takes the shit and cant ever step up to the plate. He lets others influence him way to much. He bends and takes it like a little bitch. So there you go I need a Butch not a Bitch!

So Dam Emo

2006-08-19T15:22:00.000-08:00

Gosh lately i have been so dam EMO!!!!! its making me mad!!!!!!! i get mad over every little thing and am on kill alert all the time!!!! what is the deal? I think alot has to do with stupid guys!! they make me really made. like Bryan i dont get him one mintue him and i are all good and the next he wont talk to me! like last night he huged me and he cuddled with me but today he didnt say one word to me! that little punk he needs to be slaped. and like the other day someone was telling me that....idono im just not sure what to think anymore!!!! im a little lost on this whole guy thing!!!!!!!

I miss sumitttttttttttttt

2006-07-29T21:51:00.000-08:00

I misssssssssssssssssssssss summit so much right now! i miss my old life i miss the times when i knew what i wanted. I miss my house church! i miss you rosie i miss you tessa i mss you JOANIE i miss you angela, i miss you marie, i miss you jenifer and jackie, i miss you isaac, ben, gred, david, joey and i miss you JEFF!!!! i need you guys so much right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant even begin to write how much i need you guys!!!!
I miss you mike and Judy, Bobby and Briana, Hannah, Tammy, Bill and Jerie!!!! i miss you guys!!!!
i wish it could be like before. its so hard here without any support in my morals. Here people make fun of me so bad because i wait!! i could always deal with it because you guys were there to hold me up!!!! i just want to give in sometimes!!!!!!! i need you guys so bad right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i LOVE all of you so much!!!!! i just missssss that life so much. i miss the mountains, the walks, the times with God. its so hard here. only you guys know me and i can be me!!! im so tired of fighting for something that only i believe in!!!!!!!!!!

rick james Bitch

2006-07-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

yeah so im still awake and thinking of the last few days and remebered that i got the bitch. ok so it sounds really bad but it really funny......so what happens is that everyone on staff tries to scare each other and the one who screams becomes the Sizz bitch. So Juan came up behind me while i was in the freezer and scared the crap out of me. so like a gurl i screamed!!!! He yellef rick james Bitch you it. awwww i should have seen that one coming anywho so to remove my name i waited by the trash for tyler and scared the crap out of him!!!!!!!!!! YEA RICK JAMES BITCH!!!!!!!!! your it ty sorry!

Oh yea while im up and rambling i was in the freezer jamin with my nano when joe came in and watched me ..... i didnt know he was there....anywho to keep him quite i rolled one bucket for him!!!! thats ok i'll get some dirt on him!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaawake

2006-07-21T23:12:00.000-08:00

wow i can NOT sleep at all. I'm so awake!!!!!!!!!!!! Note: never drinl a rock star nive minutes before your bed time. well if anyone is awake give me a chat im way awake!!!!!!!! Oh yea my phone is being gheto so if you call leave a voicmail otherwise i wont know if you called or not!

A weird dream!

2006-07-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

Wow I just woke up from a really intense dream. Ok so I'm at some party that I really didn't want to go to when all of a sudden a notice something outside. The party was at some millionaires house and he had like 50 acres of land. Anyway I sneak out and walk for a mile or so when a find a really good friend of mine tied up. They were going to kill him for being Christian. I tried to get him free but he didn't want me to. He told me that he wanted to die like this and that it was his destiny, and all how wanted was for me to spend his last few moments with him. So I did, it felt like forever in a few moments. In all the confusion there was some simple Pease and understanding of what he was dying for. Then all at once I was pulled away from his arms and he was killed. I was so sad and so happy all at once, I didn't know what to think.

A few minutes ;later the guards had me in chains and were ready to kill me when the host of the party walked in. He obviously wanted me so he spared me. Then I found myself married to him, the man that killed my true love and best friend, I was so miserable everyday. To make me happy he bought me a palace in the mountains. It felt that I had everything but nothing at the same time, I felt so empty and angry. He had taken me and given me every earthly thing but none of it could fill me.

then I finally woke up! That was a weird dream!

Gray

2006-07-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

Ok I just hoped out of the shower and was doing my hair when I found a gray hair!!!!! I'm getting old!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean really this is crazy, I already look older!!!!! That's ok I'll run to the store and get some hair stuff. They say for every gray you pull three come to the funeral!!!

Working together

2006-07-16T22:01:00.000-08:00

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr today I worked with all guys!!!! Usually I can stand my own but with Lord Bob and yes Man Bryan it was a lil tuff! It makes me angry when they brag about cheating on their girlfriend. Or how many they have scored! Why cant they respect women? They really need to!!!! Like the other day I was cleaning up my section while they guys were rollin the silverware, they were also very into the TV. Naturally I look to see whets on, and what do I find.....Porn. Yea and then Bob looks at me and says...... So Genesis can you do that?...... I was so mad!!! That's so nasty. It gets better. So I got done at 10:20!!!!!!!!! That is so early for me!!!!!!! So of course I do a little victory Dave and some of the other staff joins me for a few minutes, as things cool down the manager comes screaming in my face! He told me that I was getting in the way and making the workers lose focus. So yea I can see how that's true but why are the guys allowed to do crap like that all the time!!!!!! I really hope this doesn't keep up otherwise I might just smack me a MAN HO!!!! That's ok at least in inspired to be different form the duches..... Well most of the time!

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2006-07-14T22:11:00.000-08:00

So here's the dealio errrrrrr. Ok Bryan and I are really good friends and have a little thing for each other. Bryan seemed like a really kol kid and I would have really like to go out with him. Well Bob is a great friend of Bryan and Bob is a perv!! Bob also doesn't like me because Bob cant have me! Anyway the other day Bob took me aside and asked me what would happen if Bryan took me to the freezer and pulled down his pants. I slapped him and that was his answer. Well today in work Bryan was acting really weird to me. When I asked him what was wrong he said nothing and walked away. Well later he finally told me that he didn't want to lead me on but him and I were never going to happen!!! When I asked him if it was because of Bob looked down. Then I asked him if it was because I wouldn't put out he just walked away.

I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad what a lil man ho. Just cause I wont put out like every other girl he wont have me!!!!! fucking duchebag!!!!! i hate this!!!!!!!!!!! i feel like I'm being punished for having morals!!!!!!!!!! What I'm not pretty enough to go after?!?!?!?! Why am i waiting? Its not like I'm going to meet a good guy who also has morals!!!Maybe i should put out like every other girl..... But no i hold on to this fantasy that one day I'll meet a guy who will actually love me and think I'm beautiful and will treasure my morals!!!!i whish that this fantasy would be true so i could go one with my life....But no i still wait!!!!

My friends

2006-07-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

Its funny i really didnt make any friends until May, but hey thats kol. Anywho friends come and go but a blog lasts forever so here we are.
My first friend is Brenda!!!! She is the closest friend i have at the moment and i really care for her. We meat at work and have hung out sunce then, she is my only Christian friend here. She is really mature and i can be myself around her. Shes a great person to talk to and always listens. She is also convinced that i am white, because if shes mexican then there is no way i could have a speck of mexican in me!!!!lol. Yea Brenda is really kol and i hope good things for her!!!

Then there is Jessican, the crazy girly. This girl lives everyday to the fullest!!!! if i ever want to have a good time i know who to call!!!!! She is also a very caring person, she can never turn some1 away if they need help. She is a person you can always count on!!!!!

My last little girly that i hang with is Jenna!!!!!!! Jenna is a sweetheart!!!!!!! she is so nice and very active. She can always find something to do, or get soemthing done. She was the one who made my 17th the best birthday ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love this girl and she is going places!!!!

True there are other friends that i have but these girls are really kol and im really glad that we are frineds!!!!!!!!

There is one other good friend that i have that i cnat forget to mention!!!!!!!!!!Joanie!!!!!!!! i love her to death. we hardly see each other but i know that i can always count on her to be there for me!!!! she is smart, beautiful, and loving to death!!! this girl is the greatest person i know!!!!!! love you girly!!!!!!

Oh wait i cant foreget about the one girly who keeps me in line. She is the very very smart and very convicted. i look up to her in many ways!!!!! Angela Simon!!!! this girl has it going on!!!!!!

wait for my man

2006-06-28T20:45:00.000-08:00

Since summer started i have been really thinking about my sexuality and where i am going with it. i see people every where with boyfriends and girlfriends all having fun. i also see people hoking up and partying and having fun. So i guess i was wondering where i stand. so i go with a life of fun, sex, and lovers? or do i stay with the same wait till your married. i was relly about ready to cave in on my birthday when something happened. Everyone was bussy, this is very weird cause usally evey1 is ready to party it up at anytime, but it seemed like God really didnt want me to head down that path....... S
so today in work all the guys are getting excited casue im and almost 17and1/2 and almost ready for picking, all the guys are wondering whos going to get the virgin? im a lil excited but i also know that this isnt me. Then out of no where Ryan walks in. See Ryan is a great guy and really respects women. he has a collage degree and just got a great job, hes good looking and very old fashion. He is like the Isaac of Greeley, and he just became my friend. He works at the resturant just on weekends to pay off his car then is going to be focused on his life. Anywho he came in today and gave me the greatest hug ever!!!!!!! at that moment i knew what i wanted. I want to wait!!!!!!!! because there are guys out there like Isaac P. and Ryan. guys who do respect women and love God. Good guys like that give girls hope and inspire me to wait for my own good guy out there somewhere!!!!!!! so thank you God, and good guys stay good it means so much to women and so much to me!!!!!!!

17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-26T23:48:00.000-08:00

Wow im 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! crazy how life works. So today i spent my day getting ready for dinner at PF Changs were i was wayyyyyy over dressed!!! Ate there with my new friend Jenna, drove around and stopped at work and went tanning So here i am updating my blog and thinking about the evil attraction........boys!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dont understand am i just not pretty enough!!!! why arnt guys my age attracted to me!?!?!?!?!?! I can get an older rich dude in a heart beat but i cant get a young active guy!!!! really do i look that old? liek the other day i was working at the stampede kick off and i got an older wealthier mans number by the end off the night!!!! but no i couldnt get any of the other waiters numbers!!!!!!!! maybe its because i wont put out!?!?!?!?!?! Then it makes me wonder!!!!!!! here i am 17 and never done anything with a guy! boyfriendless, lonely and daydreaming of the one.... and really what are the chances of marrying a guy like me!!!!! sometimes i think im waiting for nothing!!!!!! well thatnk God for Roy Orbison!!!!!

Cow town it is

2006-06-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

After much prayer and thought i have decided to stay in Greeley. I really want to move to Summit but i really feel that God wants me here. I also feel that here in Greeley i am growing in many ways that i needed to and in summit i will take steps back. I do hope that one day God will let me go back to Summit to live, after all it is the best place in the world!!!!! But hey who knows maybe i'll really be able to help here!!!!!!

I was also wondering for everyone out there if you could please pray for me. I really need to be stronger in Christ before i can help anyone else!!!

The best tip!

2006-06-05T20:57:00.004-08:00

So the other night i was at work waiting a few tables and hangin out. A young man and his father were having lunch and enjoying the day. When they left they left two bucks and a little card. On this card was a little messagge... "A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel" then there was a verse.... "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will fund grace to help us when we need it... Heb.4:16" i wonder what it means. Anywho thank you!

Stare

2006-06-05T20:57:00.003-08:00

Here you are looking at me
Expecting more
But getting less

There is no more
This is me
And this is all i am

The look in your eye
the tone of your voice
Tells me that im not good enough

Theres nothing wrong with me
SO STOP looking at me like that
Except me or reject me

You do neither just stare
Stare in silence
Stare into the noting that I am

Stare

2006-06-05T20:57:00.002-08:00

Not sure if i said this before

2006-06-05T20:57:00.001-08:00

Yesterday i learned that a lady that i worked with tried to commit susicde last year. This reminded me that in Weld County alone, on average, Five people will commit susice every month. This doesnt include the ones who try but fail. Ummmm i wonder how i can help these people?

Stay...or....go??????

2006-06-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

Ummmmm stay or go..... Well my Dad has just bought a house in Dillion and he really wants me to move up there. For a long time i really wanted to go back but now im not so sure. I have finally found peace here and i think i could really help people. But what do i do? I guess im really lost and i really need another sighn from God for me and my Dad.

way cool

2006-03-16T07:43:00.003-09:00

Okay so here is the dealio i was wondering if i should stay in Greeley so i decided to pray about it. Well a few days later i finally get a job, but im still not sure. Then a lil later God gave me my first friend, still wondering. Then Brenda took me to her church and i really liked it. Sill not sure... then on Monday in was the mood for Starbuck, i mean i really needed one. SO at the same time Brenda came up to me and told me that she wanted Starbucks. We decided to go together then another girl who works there also wanted Starbucks so we al decided to go. ON our way out our manager Lynn stoped us and gave us a $20 gift card to Satrbucks, so our drunks were paid for. So we went at ten and all began talking. We were all going through a tuff time and were wondering away from God. We shared our storied and drank our coffe. Before we knew it we were praying together and sharing. We were crying laughing, and talking about God and remebering all the great time we all had with him. Then when the night clouds passed at 11:30 there in the sky was a yellow moon. OKay so in Greeley theres a yellow moon once in a while and usally goes away around 8:00pm but this night it was still yellow and bright in the sky. at that moment i felt the final sighn. like i was going to be okay and that i was meant to stay in Greeley. So i guess im finally okay in cowtown for however God wants me there.

A Job

2006-03-16T07:43:00.002-09:00

Wooow i finally got a job!!!!!!! As of Tuesday i will be working at the Western Sizzlin and i will be making American Creeps. Yea i'm soooooooo happy!!! whish me luck

The girl in the Yellow dress

2006-03-16T07:43:00.001-09:00

All i want to say

Every night and day
I find so much delight
in you

Every time you walk
Around the park
I just want to say
Your light makes me gay

So please stop
Turn around and say
Hey Hey Hey
Come and dance with me

But you just keep goin
My feet are slowin
Cause i will never dance with you

MY yellow Ribon

2006-03-16T07:43:00.000-09:00

Last night i had a dream that i have had before, so i named it........ My Yellow Ribon..... I dont really know how to describe the dream because its so complicated. Its me on a big house with a big chunck of land all alone. In the field there is a small shak with a small room. In the room there is a closet with a yellow ribon, with some dresses. I take the ribon and the dresses hug me. After i tie the ribon around me i get up and ;eave to the shake in tears. In the shake there is some kind of love that i once had but is no longer with me. So as i walk on my land i get in all kinds of trouble, kindnaped, threatened, stocked the whole nine yards. Right when im domed a boy appears. He is about my age but is wearing brown beat up pnats, and a baggy white shirt. His hair is long so i never get to see his face. He always rescuses me and carries me home. He is like an old lover that still looks out for me. I dont know but for some reason this dream keeps coming back, whats even weirder is that the guy is in many of my dreams.

18 years old

2006-03-12T16:01:00.000-09:00

Wow today was Ilianas 18th birthday and it was a blast. I made the food and she invited her cowboy friends to hang out. She was really happy and had a good time. Her boyfriend gave her a promise ring, and took her out to dinner. So wow my sister is offically promised!!!!! I dot her some Elizabeth Arden make up and my dad gave her some cashola. She got a camera from Racquel and emilio gave a cut little nicnack! Over all the day was good and my lil big sister is offically an adult!!!! Love you Illly and Happy birthday!

Email forward

2006-02-13T16:17:00.006-09:00

Today i got this forward and i think it really made me feel better and reminded me of who iam.... Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top ofthe tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality,they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man tocome along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Now men, men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and its up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
I guess i relized that being closer to the top of the tree is ok and i shouldnt lower myself to the ground.

Off the Path

2006-02-13T16:17:00.005-09:00

So i've been in Greeley for about seven months now and i have gotten of the path. I once really had a grip on who i was and what my morals were but now im reallly not sure. Im not sure who i am or what my morals are. Example, i used to think that waiting to have sex until your married was the way but now im not sure. I used to love kids, i cant stand them. I used to want to get married but now i dont think it will ever happen. I used to think i was a good Christian girl, but i dont know anymore. I used to think that people really liked me but i have no friends here. I never used to dance on tables at bars, drink,or smoke, at this rate i'll die of lung cancer. I never thought i would have to use my self defence skills that i learned in 6th grade, now i have many guys who hate my guts for it. Whats next for me? Whats going to heppen next? Where will i end up? Who am i becoming?

Errrr Blog

2006-02-13T16:17:00.004-09:00

Ok the last two post are in the wrong order. The Awwww shoes was the latest post while the Sundance post was the older one. So dont get lost!!!!

The Sundance

2006-02-13T16:17:00.003-09:00

Wow last night was the best night ever!!!! I went to the Sundace, a local club. See you need to be 18 but they have a dont ask dont tell policy on Sunday nights so i got in. I found the cuttest little skirt that flares when i spin alond with brown chocolate shoes!! I was ready to roll. So i get there at 9 and illy and i are ready to tear it up. She daced for an hour or so while i Danced till11:00, when they close. I was also lucky enogh to find me a country boy who was my dacing parter for the night. We had blast and he threw me up in the air and around!!!! It was sooo cool. But at the very end for the last dace i got many offers but sat it out, after all the last dance is for your lover!! So sorry cowboys the last dance belongs to someone else out there!

Awwwww shoes

2006-02-13T16:17:00.002-09:00

So latley i have gotten into the show Sex and the City, this show has really inspired me in many areas. One example is the power of a single woman. I love the idea of being fun, sexy, sucessful, and single. I think it would be way fun to stay single for awhile and live my life to the fullest! Anywho the show has also inspired my clothing. I have become addicted to shoes!!! I love them, they are so great and no matter how much you weigh they will always fit. So yesterday i go shoe Hunting but sadly none were to be found. Just when i thought my hunt was ruined i looked in the basement of my mums house. See my mum also loves shoes but never gets rid of them. Deep in the dark basement i found them! The shoes of love!!! They say sexy classy young lady all in one look!!! So Enzo Angiolini, Thank you! Your shoes have truley saved my day and will make a great look when i go Dancing!!!

Bond.....James Bond

2006-02-13T16:17:00.001-09:00

So here is the deal im watching tv and up comes info about the new James bond movie, So i get all piped but then it show some tiny blond guy and i was peodeddddd!!!! How can this happen James Bond is tall, tan and dreamy. Not short scrony and blond!!!! errrrrrrrr they are runing a classic so as a Bond Fan please go to www.craignotbond.com/ and tell support the fight against the new Bond. Please!!! Or the world may have to deal with the pain of a........Heaven Forbid.........a........Bad James Bond!!!!! As a human take action!!!!

Ahhhhh love

2006-02-13T16:17:00.000-09:00

Yes it is here, VDay!!! The day when we celebrate love!!!!! My older sister is going crazy for her boyfriend, what to get, where to eat, bla bla bla i've heard it all before. But what is this love that we celebrate, and how do we know if we found it? I hear my sister telling her boyfriend that she loves him and he says it back but do they really know what it means? Do any of us really do? I health class we took a small lil test on what love is and what lust is. I bomded it becasue i used my dads example, but again what is love. Or what is the love that my health techer is trying to teach me? I think love is many things, There is the love that you share for your family. Then the love you have for God. Then the love for friends. Finally the love for another. This final love is getting me a little confused. I mean is it really possible for two people to really love each other forever and ever, or can the heart love more then once? Ummmmm what is the love that you share with another?is it real?is it for everyone?

Summit County

2006-02-05T17:19:00.000-09:00

WOwowowowowow this weekend i was in Summit County!!!!!!!! it was soooooooo much fun!!!!! I got to hang out with Ang, Kristina, Kimberly, and my lil sis!! it was a total blast i cant wait to go up there again!!!

Home Again

2006-02-03T15:51:00.000-09:00

Yes!!!!! today i am in Frisco aka HOME!!!!! I love this place sooo much i want to move back sooooo bad!!!! The air is fresher the sky is clear and the powder is perfect. Im only here for the weekend doing work for my dad but every glimps of outside is worth it. I trulley love the mountain... i belong in the mountains and i dont want to leave but who knows maybe there is a purpose for me in Haterville.

New New Year

2006-02-02T19:49:00.000-09:00

Ok here I am again but I was thinking about my New Years resolution and why it has failed...Again. Then it dawned on me that I told my self this year I would Get hold of My Emotions. I jumped out of an airplane without any gear. I told myself what I wanted but I didn't make any steps so I have decided to redo my New Years Resolution. Here it is, This Year I am going to get my emotions under control and move on from all the events that have gotten me down my using these steps:
1.No more crying over anything less then cancer
2. Face my pain
3.Deal with my pain
4. Learn from my pain
5.Let go of the all the crap
6.Forgive and don't look back
7.move on with a positive adittude and don't let anything less then cancer get me down!!!!!
So there yah go my New New Years resolution I'm coming out strong with a positive attitude. Lovs and Lovs Genesisisisisisisisssss

Friends and Family

2006-02-02T19:42:00.000-09:00

So after the fight with my Mum i began to think about family. Im sure many people are familiar with the show Charmed, Im not into the witch craft thing but i do like the show. I like it because its based on the power of three, or the bond of three sisters. See usally people live two different life. One for everyday where they are know as fun great people and the other at home where thier true colors come out. I have been guilty of the double life and have come to the conclusion that its not okay. I want to be the fun outgoing crazy girl all the time not just to my family. So i have made myself a small little promise. I will live one life, and i hope in this life i can become better friends with my two sister and great pals with my lil bother..... i mean brother. Here i am one life and one life only the good and the bad will be shown to every1 i befriend!!!!!!

Good bye mum

2006-02-01T15:28:00.000-09:00

Well as of today my mother and i are no longer talking. Today my sister and i were having are daily vent on each other when my mum decided to jump in. Shes been made at me lately for reasons unknown. I think its because im finally loogin weight and her boyfirend gave me a hug the other day and said that i looked nice. Anywho so after wretling on the floor with my sis something poped and illy began to cry. i was freaked out we always mess areound but noe one gets hurt. My mum rushes in rushes me away from illy and rubs her back. Illy was fine but my mum had it with me. She strted yealling at me and calling me all the names in the book. Usally i take it but i finally had enough. i told her to stop yelling at me and pointed my finger in her face. ANd for the first time since i was little she hit my. I told her to F*** off and stood up again. She graped me by then neck and threw me across the floor, as she yelled at me she reached down and put my arm behind my back and kept telling me what a brat i was. See my mum in in the airforce and she could kick my a** any day. Ok i will say i did my share of mouthing off to her, so i wasnt lil miss innocent, but really the mum should be the parent in the room not another sister. Finally i cried and she let me go. i told her to go to h**** and she said something that really broke my heart. She told me "Grow up already and act the age you look, since you want to be older i will treat you older, so get out and dont ever come back" See i look older but i really wish i didnt but hey wut canya do. But at that moment an hour ago i relized that my mum was jelous of me, and it breaks my heart to know that, and know that she doesnt look at me as her child but as her commpetioion. Well i hope we can work pass this. Until then I love you MUM!

wow long time no update

2006-01-31T19:02:00.000-09:00

hello there blog and people. It has been a very long time sice i updated it. So here is what you have missed. Ok my step mother kicked me out of the house because she found my diary. I have given up on dating because what 16 year old guy wants to date a 16 who had to grow up at 10. oooooo my im crying. I just wonder whay im cursed with being alone. why am i so hated by my own day. i dont want to hurt any more. I just my best friend Rosie back and i want my mum to come back to herself and i just want to be a normal kid who can have fun instead of worring if her two younger sibling did thier homework brush thier teeth and ate all thier peas at dinner. I love my sisbling and i dont have a problem looking out for them but sometime i just want to be a kid. But i've been a parent for so logn im finding out that i dont know how to have fun.. Well i guess it is all in the Lords hand. Chow Genesissssssssss

crumy

2005-04-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

Today i am feeling very crumy my stomach hurts and i can hardly talk. Why!!!!!!!!! i dont want to be sick after all summer is almost here and i need to be outside having fun!

Illy

2005-03-16T13:26:00.000-09:00

Illy is my older sister and one of my best friend. She is the kolest person in the world and i look up to her in many ways. Ya she does have her rough edges but there is way moe good to her that makes up for all that. Well thsi summer she had decided to move to Greeley for the scholl year. She is doing very well down there, in a great school, great friends, Hot New boyfriend, and two great jobs. She is an intern for the Distric Attorney and part time at the best place to eat Tokoy Bowl. She is doning very well for only her Junior year and very happy. I have missed her very much but I am very happy for her succes, and so is she as long as she has Flogging Molly with her.
This brings me to my next point, for Illys 17 birthday she went to a Floging Molly concernt with a group of friends. A great frind of hers,Greg, also likes this band as a result she invited him. So the night of the concert she lost her cell phone so she was not able to get a hold of Greg. Once Greg returned home he had asummed that Illy had ditched him. He had good reason to after all how should he know what really happened. So a few days later everyone had asummed that she dtiched him and rumors of this flew around! Before i knew it people were coming up to me and telling ,e what a bad person Illy was. They didnt even know what happened, but they assumed that she did that on purpose and like that was who she really was. So this bring me to my third point.
Illy is smart, beautiful, funny, popular, all the thing pople want to be. Since she is like this people have been jelous of her since the first grade. it has been hard for her and she has had to deal with this kind of crap all her life, but she keeps going on because she is better then those worthless hobos who do this kind of stuff to her. What is really disturbing is that she thought they were her friend and she thougth that they would know her better then that. It maked me sad to see my sister have to deal with horrible "Friends" like that.
A message to my dear sister Illy. All these people who are treating you like crap and starting rumors about you are not your friends. You are better then them and i hope you see that. i love you Illy and these people are stupid!

V Day

2005-02-14T18:48:00.000-09:00

Today was Valentine day. It was quite fun. My buddy Rosie and I hung out all day. We shopped, ate, and watched Phantom Of The Opera(the best movie ever). *tear* Then we came back to mi casa ate chocolates and cried! Thank you Greg for the Chocolate You made my day a little better then last years. So happy Valentine to every one.

The net

2005-02-03T18:44:00.000-09:00

The net has got me glued to it!

Looking

2005-02-03T15:10:00.000-09:00

I may sound crazy but I feel like I'm going through a time to find myself. Maybe its just a stage but who knows maybe I'll find what I'm looking for.

I'm going

2005-02-01T18:13:00.000-09:00

Well I'm going on the women's retreat.

why?

2005-01-30T14:38:00.000-09:00

why do you guys pick on me if you dont want me to come to house church then just tell me. Don't pick on me and make me feel like crap and let my emotions force me to leave. I'm tired of fighting and wondering who my friends really are.(Joanie this is not your fault) Why cant you guys just except me for who I am? If you guys dont like me and dont want to be my friends then tell me!

all gone

2005-01-30T14:15:00.000-09:00

all gone YOU WIN! YOU HAVE FORCED ME TO EASE MY EMOTIONS! WHATS THE POINT?!?!?!?!?!

Stay away

2005-01-28T09:46:00.000-09:00

yOU WIN if you have anything to say to me say it to my face. Yesterday you were so nice to me then i check my blog and this is what you have to say! Well i dare you to come up to me and say it to my face unless your to scared and don't appoligize its way to late. As for everyone else i have emotions and theres nothing wrong with that! Leave me alone! All of you just stay away im sick of getting hurt by you guys!If you have anything to sasy to me say it to my face! Don't even bother being my friends when you guys really hate me. I don't want attention from you guys with friends like you who needs enemies! I know I'm not the smartest, coolest, best looking, etc.. but i am a person and if you dont like me then fine just stay away. Just leave me be you have caused enough damage!

Blogg readers

2005-01-21T14:17:00.000-09:00

To all who are blogg readers including myself i want to tell you soemthing. Blogs are Journals!!! No one has to read them no one will force you to read them! You also have no right to tell someone what to feel and how to feel it and how to express it. YOU WIN!!!!!! I was feeling that way and i expressed it in my journal and if you dont like it then dont read it, and dont even dare come up to me and tell me how i should feel or how i should express myself. Oh and by the way i don't care if i lose any friendships at this point because by the i get all my Shit together i will have forgoten about all you were not worth rembering! So those who didn't like my last two posts thats fine we are all different and thats ok but don't even think you have the right to judge me about being different. What really makes me mad is all the people who never read my blog but decided to because they were told to and then you people wanted to talk to me about it. Most of you never cared before the post but know you do! i am the way i am and if you don't like it then saty away from me!

Friends

2005-01-16T17:39:00.000-09:00

Well I have only one thing to say to all you fags that mad me cry last night.YOU WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stay out of my life you guys have hurt me soooooooooooooooooo deep that I can never trust you again. I would never treat anyone the way you treated me!!!!!!!!!!! You guys are not my friends!!!!!!!!! To top it all off you not only hurt me but Rosie as well. I was up until 2:30 crying, and Rossi was up late to. Friends don't do crap like that to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christians

2005-01-15T17:00:00.000-09:00

YOU WIN!

New year

2005-01-10T17:51:00.000-09:00

The new year has come and I did the first thing on my list that I wanted to do, I cleaned out my closet! I got rid of ten full bags of clothes and two bags of trash and still have a ton of clothes! Hopefully more people can use these clothes instead of just me! So all of you who read this please stick to you New Years resolution!

The baby's

2004-12-15T14:20:00.000-09:00

There are so many cute baby's in the church Jason and Danyel(sorry if I spelled it wrong) just had the last one(for now) and they are all sooooooooooo cute. This time there is all handsome little boys. So please pray for their health.

Snowwwwwwwwww again

2004-12-09T14:18:00.000-09:00

Today we got a ton snowwwwwwwwwwwww I'm sooooooooooo happy. Main street looks so beautiful all the fresh powder and the light that shine even brighter with the snow. I'll try to post a picture it is sooo beautiful.

School

2004-12-06T16:07:00.000-09:00

Well I'm happy I did well on a Bible test today, yeeeee. Hopefully I will do well on all my school work, because if I don't pass all my classes I get pulled out of the IDS!!!!!!!!!!!! That's an awful thought so pray that I can keep focused in school, I really want to do well.

2004-12-04T17:00:00.000-09:00

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm so frustrated, and confused!!!!!!!!!!!! People don't really know how hard it is to answer the question that I must answer. " who do you want to live with?" People don't really know how hard that question is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Truth be told I don't really know either, I love them both so much and neither place will be better then one another, but one will be hurt in the end!!!! I don't want to answer that question I really truly don't, but I have to!! I just want to run away from both and start a new life away from my parents. Its not that I don't love them but its because I don't want to hurt them. WHAT DO I DO? I CRY OUT BUT I GET NO RESPONSE I FEEL SO LOST!! Why cant I just run away and start all new and clean! I truly don't know what to do!

Dreams

2004-11-30T16:25:00.000-09:00

Lately I have been having dreams that my stepmom parents came put her. Filiz is from Turkey so they would have to come all the way from Turkey if they did, and with all the security it would be very hard but who knows.

oh yah and I'm braking out with a cold sore and it hurt like no other. Mrs. Judy gave me a name of some clod sore medicine so I think tomorrow ill pick some up.
Please pray for illy, my lil big sister in really feel like she needs prayer.
Chat to yah later
Genesis

Tea

2004-11-23T06:07:00.000-09:00

How many different teas do you think are in this world, and which ones really help?

Getting Sick

2004-11-23T06:03:00.000-09:00

Err today I am sick, I have the once a year cold that comes to me every year. The good part is that it doesn't last very long but for the time I'm miserable. I should be grateful at least I don't have the flu. Well got make come yea, chat to yah later.

A Girl Day

2004-11-19T08:43:00.000-09:00

Today I'm having a girl day. A girl day is a day of all emotions. So as a result I'm having a very interesting day. Like now I don't fell sad but I'm not happy, I'm tired but I don't want to take a nap, I'm not angry but I want to yell. The years of puberty, they kill.
So here I am all alone in the office trying to pay attention to tax school, what's the point of learning all of these tax laws? Besides there will be all new ones next year, but oh well Uncle Sam wants his cut of our money. Speaking of which I have come to a new conclusion, my dad should get an extra tax deduction.
He should get this because I got to a private school, a school that the government doesn't pay for. Yes, why should he pay for me to go to the public school when I don't even go there? Maybe I'll make a new tax law, along with the million others! IM a genius, not really but we can pretend. Well chat ot ya later
Genesis

Friends or Family

2004-11-19T05:57:00.000-09:00

Today was a hard choice between friends or family. I could either go to my friends birthday party or see my mom who I hardly ever see. These decisions are always hard for me so I finally decided to see my mom, so Rosie please forgive me.

The Diet

2004-11-17T15:26:00.000-09:00

Ok today is the day I'm going on my diet and I'm not stopping until I get to me ideal weight!!!!! I will go off for holidays only!!!!!!! I'm so serious about this, I will not go off again!!! It will consist of vegies and water, ahhh I will be so skinny!!!

Family night

2004-11-14T07:14:00.000-09:00

Well the first time in a long time I went to the movies with part of my family. Filiz, Sible, baby Filiz, Papa, and me all went. We saw the incredible, I'm really glad I went, we really needed to get out.

Guys?

2004-11-12T19:10:00.001-09:00

Sorry I repeated myself. Anyhow, guys? I really don't get a lot of them, truly I don't. Same with some girls, at least the girls who go crying to the guys I don't get. Why do girls think its kol when guys fight over them? Why do guys fall into the stupid trap? Really I don't get it!!!!!!!!!!! Guys ruin great friendship with each other over a girlfriend that wont last as long as a friend. Even if the guys aren't good friends cant they see that the girls just want to make them jealous so they feel better about themselves!!!!!!!!!!! I know that girls want to feel secure with a guy and safe but its not going to last when your a teen. These girls will go on to guy after guy just so they can feel more secure but they're not going to find it with little boyfriends. Why are they so blind? It hurts seeing all this because I know guys who do this, and the girls who set it all up!!!!!!!!!! I don't know, this is why I think people should wait until they are mature enough to date. Oh well I better go to bed before I get to mad about this, I just hope that these guys would wake up already.

Guys?

2004-11-12T19:10:00.000-09:00

The crush that is crushing me

2004-11-12T18:27:00.000-09:00

For the last three years I have had a crush on a certain someone, I have always kept it on the low side until recently. This crush hurts a lot, I really don't want to like this person more then a friend. I want to be able to email him with thinking that I'll spill my guts. What makes me feel really bad is that I get mad at this person for no real reason, which isn't fair to him. I promised God that I would not date until I'm 18 but I believe liking someone as much as I do is bad to. The reason why I'm not dating is because I want to focus on God, but thinking of this person not only hurts but is making me grow further away from God. So hopefully I'll be able to move on and grow in Jesus even more.
P.S the people who know me please don't make fun of me but instead pray for me. This crush is really crushing my feelings.

LONG TIME NO SEE

2004-11-10T18:02:00.000-09:00

Well its been a while and many things have happened. I have had a hard weekend with my Stepmom, but that's life. I do want to love her and respect her but it is so hard. I want my dad and her get along without our family falling apart. He doesn't see if but our family is slowly dyeing,but I have no doubt in my mind that God will make it better. So if you have time please pray for my family, we sure could use it.
On the better side I have come up with many more thoughts. I want to help kids with divorced parents, I really want to be a able to reach out and help the people who are going through tough time. No one should be left alone, and this could be a great opportunity to share the gospel. People don't realize it but parents are really hurting their kid,and those without the love of Jesus may not make it through. I do believe that Jesus is that one who has gotten me this far and he continues to still lead me on. Jesus is amazing and I truly whish I could reach out to everyone and share the great news but for now I have to wait for got to show me the way to go.

Halloween

2004-11-01T14:33:00.000-09:00

Well for the first time in my life I did not celebrate Halloween. I really felt like God was telling me to to celebrate it. I was sad at first but like always Jesus got me through it. Chat to ya later
Genesis

Snow

2004-10-29T08:23:00.000-08:00

So last night I got back from babysitting I was so tired that I fell on my bed and went to sleep. Then about a hour later I hear a really loud sound I look out the window and its snowing. Its everywhere,so on November 5, Copper Mountain will be open. I am a terrible skier but I love it. Its the season to be skiing lalalala lala lalala. So see yah on the Mountain.

Baby Sitting

2004-10-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

EEEEE I'm so happy I get to go baby sitt the kolest kids. Chat to yea later
Genesis

Life goes on

2004-10-27T15:15:00.000-08:00

Wow today was hard I was thinking. If you know me that's a bad thing from the start so today it brought me to tears. I remembered that this year four seniors are leaving, and there is only nine in the school. These are my friends and I love them all so much and they are leaving. So when the tears began to pour I realized high school is more then reading, cool and mean teachers, the pretty girls, and the hot guy, but infact times like this get us ready for our lives. We will all experience lose and pain and if we didn't have it now we would not be able to bear it when we are older. Aww if I'm going crazy over four friends then God needs to let me experience a lot more to be ready for life.

First time

2004-10-25T15:23:00.000-08:00

Ok so this is my first time boggin. Umm well what can i say. My name is Genesis but i was second born, yes it is weird but hey mommy knows best. I live in Summit count and attend school at Immanuel Discipleship School, I am also a member of the body of Christ. Tessa and Rosie and my two best friends. So thats all about id for today.
Genesis